While I do not adhere to a particular parenting ‘method’, it may be helpful to have a sense of some of the underlying principles of my approach. Many of these basic agreements are found in other research-based approaches incorporating contemporary thinking in developmental psychology and a life-affirming philosophy, for example, gentle parenting, conscious parenting, or peaceful parenting.
As I advise parents, these are the concepts I hold as central to Wisdom Season Parenting.
The family has evolved as the optimal environment for the maturation of children to adulthood.
Respect for all family members. All members of the family will be regarded with compassion, treated with respect, encouraged to embrace their authentic selves and valued for their innate worth as unique individuals.
Knowing yourself. Parenting requires a tremendous amount of energy, patience, maturity and self control. It often means acknowledging one’s own vulnerabilities and relearning responses to triggering behaviors in others, especially their children. Parents benefit from support and encouragement in order to fulfill their role well and derive joy from the experience.
Parenting is easier when we have an overarching set of basic beliefs that guide our responses rather than a manual of specific actions addressing an infinite number of possible situations.
The importance of the parent-child relationship. Children’s attachments/relationships are the true source of parents’ natural authority and influence.
Creating an environment in which kids can thrive. Children thrive when the adults in their lives can be trusted to be warm and accepting, welcoming the child into their presence, empathetic, and consistent in meeting the child’s physical and emotional needs.
Children are not miniature adults. By understanding that the brain continues to develop throughout childhood, and how adult behavior toward the child affects that development, we can strengthen the connections that serve everyone’s needs.
Discipline is defined as teaching. We know that children learn best how to be in the world not by what we say, but by the example, understanding and inspiration of their most treasured adults.
On punishment: Punishment, the intentional infliction of emotional or physical suffering, is an inappropriate use of power and ineffective in teaching the child anything positive in the long term.
Approach to discipline: Positive, non-violent, disciplinary techniques that respect both the parent’s boundaries and the child’s bodily integrity and emotional health will be taught and encouraged.
Setting boundaries. The setting of necessary and appropriate boundaries or limits are most effective when communicated with calm clarity.
Meeting the child’s negative emotions with empathy and calm is the most effective and positive way to affect the child’s behavior long term.
Communication and relationship skills that benefit all members of the family will be emphasized.
Parents concerned about changing negative generational patterns will be respected both for their cultural and family heritage and their desire to incorporate gentle parenting techniques that they themselves may not have experienced.
Confidentiality. All information discussed during classes or coaching sessions will be held in confidence unless the safety of a child is in jeopardy.
Safety. If the mental or physical health of a family member is in question, clients will be offered information about appropriate community or professional resources.
Central to all we do is the belief that each human being has dignity and is to be treated with respect regardless of age, development, or role and that families thrive when every relationship is based on mutual respect, trust, and love allowing each person to be their authentic selves. Wisdom Season Parenting’s goal is to help you gain confidence and clarity about your role as parents and to hone skills for simultaneously meeting your children’s changing needs and your goals for your family. My hope is that each parent will come to value and truly enjoy their role, that their children will thrive and reach their full potential.
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